Goat and a Pig The Final Goodbye
by TakeBackTheFalls
Summary: As the bus leaving Gravity Falls arrives, The Goat and Waddles share a tearful goodbye before their departure. (Joke-fic)


**BEST FINALE EVER! Anyways, why not write a funny fan fiction to (stop me from crying) uh, just for fun! Goat and a Pig style. How will Waddles' and The Goat's love story foreclose?**

It was time.

The sky was pink, the color of Waddles, and the bus doors to Gravity Falls had just opened.

Waddles snorted with glee, trotting up the bus stairs as the bus driver trembled with fear under Stan and Ford's threat. He turned around to The Goat, frowning when he noticed he hasn't followed.

"A-A-Aren't you coming?" The farm animal snorted in his pig language.

The Goat bowed his head, tears glimmering in his eyes. "I'm..." he wiped under his nose with his hooves, "I'm afraid I cannot. I don't belong to Mabel."

Waddles laughed, "Have you met Mabel? She'll welcome you with open arms! You'll be able to chew all the sweater sleeves you want..." He nodded his fat pig head upwards, gesturing for him to follow.

The Goat looked up at his one true love, trying his best not to break down crying. "I'd love to. I'd love to spend our entire lives together like we always fantasized, but I belong to Stan. I belong to the Mystery Shack."

Waddles's spirits fell, unable to wipe his tears away because he couldn't reach his face with his stumps. "No...NO!"

The Goat shook, trying to keep his feelings together. "Remember all those nights where we'd lay down naked in the mud looking up at the stars?"

Waddles squealed with pain, his pudgy frame shaking, "I will always remember."

"Good." He baaaaaah-ed, "No matter what happens, no matter where you go or who you meet, I want you to remember our inseparable love story. Goat-"

"-and a pig." Waddles finished, his oinks wavering.

"Look into my creepy yellow eyes!" The Goat stood on his back legs, bouncing to regain balance "No matter what happens, you are the most important pig to me..."

Tears swam swiftly down Waddles' chiny-chin-chin, "Please come with me, PLEASE!"

The Goat trembled. He wanted to go with Waddles, he wanted to be his boyfriend forever. He was even thinking about attaching a pine corn to a worm and proposing, but he couldn't go. Waddles' loyalty fell to Mabel, and his loyalty belonged to Stan. Still, he couldn't bare to watch Waddles' heart break.

"I'm sorry." He turned around, squeezing through Stan and Ford to find a tree to rub against.

"COME BACK!" Waddles squealed, "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW!"

The Goat bowed his head, tears gliding from his eyes and getting trapped in his matted fur.

"Please, turn around and look at me!" Waddles stood there helplessly on the top step of the bus to California, "P-P-P-Please?"

The Goat disappeared, and Waddles saw him for the last time.

Waddles tilted his head up and squealed at the wind, squealing harder than he ever squealed before. He squealed a song of love, a song of remorse, a song of lost destiny. The loud squeal echoed through the town. All the citizens winced under the horrible retching sound, hands placed firmly over their ears.

The Goats ears twitched as he heard the song, his head jerking upward as the familiar voice. "Don't cry for me." He whispered, trotting away to escape his feelings.

Mabel fell on her hands and knees, banging her fists against her suitcase. "THIS IS SO SAD!" She sobbed.

Scrunching up his eyebrows in confusion, Dipper looked toward his friends and then back at his sister. "I don't understand, all I heard was a collection of oinks and baah-ing. Also a loud screeching noise that sounded like me trying to take off a bandaid."

"Shut up, Dipper! You don't understand!" Soos bent down on one knee, rubbing Mabel's back, "Waddles just got dumped."

"Wait, what?"

She sniffed, wiping under her eyes with her sleeve. "I always knew this day would come." Mabel admitted, slowly standing up. She dragged her suitcase behind her, "Come on, let's go."

The twins trudged upon the bus, not before giving their favorite Grunkles a hug. As the bus door's closed, Waddles' heart shattered.

This was the end of a story.

The end of a _love_ story.

As the bus started to move, Waddles put a hoof on the glass.

 _So long my love..._

Gravity Falls got smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror, and so did his heart. Waddles was angry, he wanted to squeal and bite and poop all over the bus seats, but he remembered something Candy had said during the whole 'Several Timez' drama.

 _'If you loved them, you'd set them free.'_

"He loves me." Waddles whispered, "H-He loves me." Mabel nodded sympathetically, petting his bald head. The pig smashed his face against the glass window, watching the town zoom past him for the last time.

"And I love him..."

The pig closed his eyes, feeling the cool glass calm his flushed face. He thought of his love, the summer they spent together in merriment. Walks in the forest, gazing at the stars, eating articles of clothing that belonged to other people, getting taped together against their will. It was a true fairytale.

"I'll write to you." He promised, "Every week. I'll send you pictures, I'll fill you in on California. A day will never go by without you crossing my mind."

Waddles fell asleep, his eyes stinging from crying, but his heart bulging. He dreamed of The Goat and him having a special reunion, sharing the same string of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp.

"Someday my love..." Waddles snorted in his sleep.

A sign that read _'Now leaving Gravity Falls'_ zipped past them, and that was the end of it. For now.

"The course of true love never did run smooth"

~ Shakespeare

 **AN: This was just a fun joke fan fiction, I thought it would be funny if this was how the last scene of Gravity Falls actually went. Not that I'd change anything, that finale was FABULOUS!**


End file.
